Today I had a memory of the holiday party from my first year with my firm. Let's just say it doesn't make me proud and it kind of makes me cringe. I was trying to impress the new class of attorneys that had started a few months before, and they bet me to go dance with a partner at my firm. He was bustin' a move on the dance floor, and a cute old man, so I was like, sure! So… what happened was by the time I mustered up the courage (read: had a few more glasses of wine) to go out on the dance floor, the music had stopped. So I was standing there, and for some reason I was like, "I know the music stopped, but will you dance with me for a minute?" He did, and then the next day was telling another attorney friend of mine about this girl who randomly asked him to dance when the music had stopped. Luckily, I had already told attorney friend of mine that it was due to a bet, so he relayed that to him and partner's response was, "Well why didn't she say so!" So he was cool with it. It was embarassing, and partner now knows who I am and every now and then will bring it up, but at least he wasn't some asshole who was going to fire me for being wasted. That's not the worst part. No… after the swank holiday party there was an unofficial happy hour at a bar downtown. First mistake - I apparently was all over "attorney I was sleeping with" in front of others. Yeah, um, that was supposed to be a secret… and I apparently kept trying to get him to take me home. Next thing I know I have a vague flash of making out with someone in the bathroom. I know not if it was the men's or women's, but I do know that it was this gorgeous black paralegal from my work. I have NO idea how I went from hanging out with "attorney I was sleeping with" to making out… and possibly more… in the bathroom. I can't say for certain, but let's just say I'm pretty sure I have no recollection of having sex with my first black man. In a bathroom. In a bar. Don't worry, it was a nice bar; a bar/restaurant. It actually was a bar I used to frequent for happy hour at my last job. I also lost my keys that night, and have a sneaking suspicion they were in whatever bathroom we may or may not have had sex in, and when I called they were like nope, no keys here. I think they lied. It took me at least a year before I would show my face there again…
When this paralegal worked here he had a best work friend who was like 3 feet shorter than him (he was like 7 ft tall), and white and had creepy eyes. Paralegal has long since gone, but his best work friend is still here. At some point my desk was moved to his floor and for the first few months I got the creepiest, smirkiest, knowing looks from him. He finally spoke to me one day and was like, "I don't know if you remember me, but I'm Mike." No, I don't remember, because I obviously must've been hanging out with paralegal and his friends prior to our rendevous in the loo. Fuck. But I was like, "Oh yeah…" Then he befriended me on facebook and I realized he went to college with my then roommate. Double fuck. I have to see this guy every day still, but finally he's gotten less creepy and I realized he's not going to go around telling people about my bathroom escapade (or else he probably already did and it's such old news that it doesn't matter anymore).
And then today, gorgeous black paralegal sent me a connection request on LinkedIn. He "hopes I'm doing well". Lol.
