Not gonna lie, I loved whoring myself out for money. Not in the sense of being a prostitute or a stripper. No, no. Just a waitress. I wore the shortest shorts I could find and flirted with dirty old men as I brought them their food and convinced them they needed a few more drinks. Why? Because They were going to give me money! I started off as a small time waitress at an IHOP - where you had to wear a white button down shirt, long black pants, and a tie. But, just as the post above brings up, my shirt was probably a little too tight… and I may or may not have worn a hot pink bra, of the push up variety, most of the time. My roommate in college eventually got me in on the sweetest waitressing gig of all time. We worked at this steak and seafood restaurant that had an outdoor deck that overlooked a bridge and the Hudson River. You have no idea how busy this place could get in the summer. IT WAS AWESOME. No, I didn't stroll into work every day with a happy go lucky attitude. But I worked doubles, picked up shifts, BEGGED for my section to be downstairs on the deck on hot summer nights (where the big $$ was), closed, opened, whatever it took. Because the money was there. I look back fondly on those days, and don't regret it a bit. Waitresses there made BANK. And we got to drink (and smoke) on the back deck after work. I didn't really keep track of how much I made, but wish I did now. I wonder if it's more than I make now?? Ha, probably not, but it sure felt good walking out with cash in hand after a busy summer night. Ah, those were the days…
Another slutty job I had was lifeguarding. Yeah, she totally missed that one on the list. Come on, you're in the tightest bathing suit possible, with men and boys oggling you aaaaaall day long. You don't get tips, but you get numbers, let me tell you that. You know that "summer fling" feeling when you meet someone over the summer and you get all butterfly-y and everything's so exciting and passionate? That happened to me a lot. Like 30 times. Ok, ok, 10's probably a better estimate. If it was 30 I'd definitely deserve the slut tag. I guess there's something about being a (hot, young, skinny - curse you old self!) lifeguard that gets guys all hot and bothered. There's also something so wrong about hooking up with someone in a pool office, club house, pool itself, that's just so… hot.
Would I run around in short shorts for tips or in a skintight bathing suit for guys these days? I'd like to say no, but well… um… if I had the body for either, I would. Oh, and for the second one I guess that would have to be if I wasn't married as well.
